Hives

I just got home from having my blood drawn for my beta. I really don't know how to feel about this cycle, and I've been very reluctant to get my hopes up at all. It's been a strange week too. I woke up Tuesday morning and could barely open my eyes as they were swollen shut. It was bizarre - I looked like one of those lizards with multiple eyelids! I also broke out in hives in a few places that morning. Benadryl didn't help much and by that evening I was itchy and miserable and still puffy-eyed. I wound up taking a colloidal oatmeal bath, slathering myself in lotion, covering my eyes with a frozen eye mask, and even sipping a tiny bit of red wine (which is supposed to have anti-inflammatory properties). By Wednesday morning, the hives were gone and my eyes were less swollen.

When I sat down for my blood draw this morning, I made the mistake of telling the nurse drawing me about my weird allergic attack. She got sort of excited and said she's really interested to know the outcome of my test later today because she's had a few patients experience similar symptoms: random hives post-transfer and then a positive beta a few days later. I know she was just trying to be helpful and is probably truly interested to see if her anecdotal observations hold true for me, but at the same time I really wish she hadn't told me that.

Because now I've come to the final (and worst) hours of the two-week wait: waiting for The Call. Could I have stopped and gotten a home pregnancy test on my way back and put myself out of my misery? Yes, of course. But I didn't. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. There's always the chance that a home urine test might not be accurate, and I can't afford that risk today. I need to know for sure, one way or another. I just wish she hadn't given me that tiny seed of hope...