Today was beta day. I had my blood drawn around 10:15 this morning and they literally didn't call me until after 5:00 pm. It was negative. BFN.
The irony of yesterday being "pregnancy loss remembrance day" isn't lost on me. What really gets me though is, what do you call it when there WAS an embryo but it didn't survive. What sort of day is there for having been "sort of" pregnant but not really. It's not really a miscarriage. It's not even a so-called "chemical pregnancy." It's just an embryo that WAS alive and then... what? When did it stop being "alive"? And - as always - the age old of question/torture of "what could I have done differently to make it work?"
This sucks.
So sorry, sweetie. I 100% get you on this. They were - and now they aren't. We have ways of remembering our embies around the house (there are 9 little birds on Chipmunk's wall for a reason). It helps keep them part of our story and part of hers.
ReplyDelete