Part 41: 6 Weeks & Counting...

I was 6 weeks on May 20.  Our ultrasound that week was on Thursday.  I was very nervous about that one.  The heartbeat is supposed to be visible after the 6 week mark and I so badly wanted there to be a heartbeat.  The thought of miscarriage haunted me on a regular basis.  Even outside of the IF community, I had so many friends, co-workers, and even family members who had suffered miscarriage, many around the 5-7 week stage.  And while a heartbeat at 6 weeks 4 days would still not be a guarantee of continued success, it would be one step closer.

The day of the ultrasound, I had originally planned to go to work first and then head over to my appointment when it was time.  But my nerves got the best of me and I emailed my boss to let her know I'd be in after the appointment was over.  Paul and I rode in together and I tried to talk about anything and everything else to avoid worrying.  Worrying is not something I enjoy.  I start to get on my own nerves if I do it and I have a hard time tolerating others who do it constantly.  That isn't to say that I am the master of peace and calm.  On the contrary, I've just gotten really good at compartmentalizing.  When I'm faced with something worrisome, I close off my mind to it and refuse to dwell.  Maybe it is a form of avoidance, but that's how I cope.

In any case, it wasn't until we got into the exam room that I started to feel panicky.  When I get to that point, I become a "rip-off-the-bandaid-as-quickly-as-possible" type of person.  Good or bad, I just wanted to get it over with.  Thankfully, the tech seemed to sense that and moved quickly.  Within a matter of seconds, the probe was in position and my uterus was on the screen.  And then I saw it.  Even before she pointed it out, I could see the tiny, rapid flicker.  Flash's heartbeat.  Our baby was alive.  It was a surreal moment.  I'm not a big crier, especially in happy moments.  So instead of bursting into tears I just reached over and grabbed Paul's hand.

 

Here is Flash, at 6 weeks 4 days (measuring 6 weeks 5 days).  The arrow is pointing to where we saw the heartbeat.  Flash's heart rate was 122 beats per minute (bpm), and he/she was about 7 mm long.  It was pretty amazing to see!

I had told my boss the news the week before because, well, she'd known about the IVF and it just wasn't a secret I was going to be able to keep from her.  She mentioned that around 6 weeks was when she always started feeling sick with each of her pregnancies.  As if on cue, I started getting nauseous the day before my 6 1/2 week ultrasound.

6 Weeks and Counting Symptom Recap:

• Nausea.  Nothing unbearable, just a queasy, icky feeling on and off all day.  It usually hit me first in the morning, soon after getting up.  Then, once I ate some dry Cheerios, it would dissipate for a few hours.
• Sensitivity to smell.  This one caught me off guard.  I expected to be sensitive to bad smells.  I did not expect to be negatively affected by what I would normally consider good smells.  Food smells were especially a problem.  Cooking food smells were the worst.
• Food aversions.  At first it was nothing specific, just a general aversion to food.  Nothing sounded good, even when I knew I was hungry.  Eating was not enjoyable.  Then, to my surprise, I developed random aversions to things I usually liked.  My morning cup of coffee?  No thanks.  A piece of cheese (I'm usually a cheese-a-holic)?  Nah....  It was really weird. 
• And continuing from the week before:  acne, isomnia, hot flashes, and breast tenderness.

In addition to the above, I had developed a weird itchy rash on my butt after stopping the PIO shots.  It was concentrated in the areas where the injections had been.  Very strange.  Even Cookie, when I called to ask about it, was puzzled.  "Maybe your body actually misses them!" she'd joked.  It wasn't super annoying, just kind of odd.