Part 27: What the....?

I got the bad news about the canceled cycle on Good Friday, the same day my mom arrived to help shuttle me to/from appointments and take care of things around the house when it came time for me to "rest."  I tried to focus on the positives (something I've tried very hard to do throughout the entire IF journey), which included:

1. Mom was here to visit for 2 whole weeks and, since we hadn't planned to do much aside from IVF stuff, we could pretty much do whatever we wanted.
2. Not going forward with the cycle meant that I wouldn't have to stress about potentially missing the graduate class for which I was scheduled to be a guest speaker (which might have been a problem if I'd started stims on Good Friday).
3. Not going forward with the cycle meant that I could still take B (and now Mom!) to visit my grandma one of the weekends for our cake decorating lesson (B's Christmas present).
4. When we did start things over, Paul would surely be done with class and have more flexibility in his schedule to drive me on procedure days and stay with me afterwards.
5. I could spend the next few weeks (or more) preparing - by eating better, exercising some more, squeezing in a couple more acupuncture appointments, etc.

Focusing on the positives did help to give me some perspective, so by the time the Easter weekend was over, I wasn't feeling quite as bummed as I'd been.  The IVF nurse had said they would expect AF to arrive about 2 weeks after stopping Lupron, so I wasn't even really concerned with waiting for her to make an appearance.  Which is why, when I started spotting on Tuesday evening, I was rather surprised.  But I just assumed it was some sort of mid-cycle spotting, probably a side effect of Loopy Lupron.

I fully expected the spotting to go away, which appeared to be the case by Wednesday morning.  And then it started up again around lunch time.  And it was heavier.  Still nothing like a full flow, but it definitely stuck around the rest of Wednesday.  Wednesday evening, it was enough that I actually decided to put in a tampon for overnight.  When I took it out early Thursday morning, it wasn't very saturated (sorry to be graphic) so I wondered if maybe the spotting was coming to an end?  But by mid-morning, it was back.  It still wasn't what I would have called full flow, but it was bright red and not unlike the period I'd had when going off bcp's prior to the canceled cycle.

I decided I had better call and at least find out if this was normal, so that afternoon I left a message for Brownie.  She called back a little later and said that it sounded like I'd gotten my period and should come in for baseline testing the next morning (Friday).  I mentioned that it hadn't been anywhere near 2 weeks since I stopped Lupron, and she explained that everyone's body is a little different in terms of how they react to things so it wasn't really concerning.  I made my blood and ultrasound appointment and hung up feeling a little baffled... what exactly was my body doing?

My appointment was uneventful the next morning.  The tech didn't mention anything about a cyst during my dildocam exam, and I didn't ask.  I figured it didn't really matter whether it was still there or not since I would likely just be starting the pill again in a few days.  That afternoon, I had to pack up my entire office in preparation for renovation.  Our floor at work had begun a major renovation/updating project and every day, a block of about 3-4 offices were set to be done.  There was a pretty intense schedule for the process, starting with everything being packed and/or labeled and ready to be moved by 2:00 p.m. on the scheduled day.  My scheduled day was actually the following Tuesday.  However, I don't work on Mondays and I live pretty far from where I work, so I was planning to just take my laptop and work from home on Tuesday, which meant I needed to be packed before the weekend.  My mom came into the city and met me at my office that afternoon to help.  I figured between the two of us, we could get it all done in a couple of hours rather than me spending most of my day sorting, organizing, and packing.

It was late in the afternoon and we were in the midst of a major tossing/shredding campaign when my phone rang.  It was Cookie calling with the results of my baseline tests - I'd kind of forgotten about them!   I don't remember what her exact words were except that she said I should start my stims that night!!!  I uttered a couple unitelligible phrases before finally asking about the pill.  She said they were modifying the protocol a little - this time there would be no pill and no Lupron.  She said she would need to order another drug that I'd be using instead of Lupron, but I wouldn't start that for a few days.  She rattled off the dosages I would be starting with for stims, and said I should return for monitoring on Monday.  I was vaguely aware that we were going to be on our way back from visiting Grandma on Monday, so I asked if it would be a problem to come on Tuesday instead or if I needed to change my plans.  Cookie said Tuesday would be fine and told me to expect a phone call from the pharmacy about delivery for the new drug as well as an email from one of the IVF nurse coordinators with my cycle schedule.  Then she asked if I had any other questions.   I couldn't think of anything to say - I was still a little in shock over the sudden change in plans.

After taking a pretty big plunge just a few days before, the roller coaster was climbing again at a pretty fast pace!