Part 20: Time to Baste!

We arrived at the clinic early, which was good since Paul had to get to work.  Technically I did too, but in his line of work, shift starts at 7:00 a.m. and there's no such thing as coming in late.  Fortunately, he works with some good guys, a couple of whom have been down this same road themselves, who are willing to help cover a couple of hours here and there so he can be with me for appointments.  He was taken back to make his deposit and I had a seat in the waiting area.  One thing no on had warned us about was how long it would take for the lab to process and prepare a fresh sample for IUI.  A half an hour after Paul joined me in the waiting area, we still hadn't been called back and he was running out of time.  He needed to catch a particular train to get to the town where he works in time to relieve the guy who was covering for him.  He couldn't really wait any longer without running the risk of missing his train.  As much as I didn't want to do the IUI by myself for the first time, we didn't really have any choice.  He kissed me goodbye and wished me luck.

Another 45 minutes crept by, and I went to ask for an update.  I was a little worried they might have forgotten about me!  I was told that the lab was just finishing up with our sample and that they would be calling me back shortly.  About 10 minutes later, a nurse I hadn't seen before (we'll call her Baby Mama - since that's what the other nurses call her) took me back to an exam room.  She told me to undress from the waist down, cover up with a paper sheet and sit on the table.  A few minutes later, she returned along with the andrologist from the lab. 

The andrologist showed me a small syringe filled with a milky fluid and labeled with our names and birth dates.  I'll admit I was a little sad that it wasn't a turkey baster :)  She asked me to read both our names and birth dates out loud.  Then she showed them to Baby Mama and asked her to do the same.  I suppose it is a good thing that they double- and triple-check these things.  I wonder what they would do if there was a mix-up? The andrologist left and Baby Mama told me to lay back and assume the position.  While I did that, she showed me the stats on our sperm sample.  I don't remember the exact numbers, but it was something like like this:

• They wanted at least 40% motility - Paul's was over 95%
• They wanted, say, 20 million per mL - Paul's was something ridiculous along the lines of 150 million

Baby Mama commented that we had a "stellar" sample to work with.  She then proceeded to talk me through the procedure, which was surprisingly simple.  First, she inserted that horrid speculum.  It took a bit of adjusting to get it into position, which wasn't my favorite, but she apologized and was very gentle about it.  Then, she swabbed my cervix with something to clean it off.  It is a strange feeling to have your cervix swabbed...  Then, she inserted the catheter.  She warned me I would feel a pinch followed by some pressure, which I did, but it wasn't terrible.  And finally, she attached the syringe to the catheter and proceded to inject the sample.  The whole thing only took a few minutes. 

Before she left, Baby Mama set a timer on the counter and told me to lie on the table with my knees bent until the timer buzzed (about 10-15 minutes).  When it went off, I would be free to go for the day.  I could go to work and whatnot, but was to avoid exercising or anything else too "bouncy" for a few days.  She also said I might see some spotting and/or feel kind of crampy and bloated.  She assured me this was normal.  While I waited for the timer, I texted Paul to tell him about his "stellar" contribution to the day.  He thought that was pretty funny.  When my time was up, I got dressed and left for work.  I did have a little spotting that afternoon, and it definitely felt weird down there (for lack of a better word).  I could only hope that these were good signs. 

We returned to the clinic the next morning for day 2 of the IUI.  It was pretty much the same thing, except this time we were prepared for the long wait for the lab.  This time, our IUI nurse was Cookie.  She proclaimed it to be another "outstanding" sample and I swear Paul looked like he was going to burst with pride.  He even whipped out his cell phone to text the guys at work to brag about it.  Men are so weird.  Cookie was a little rough with the speculum - it took a lot of rummaging around to get it into place, which was pretty unpleasant.  Finally she got it locked into position and was able to insert the catheter and the rest was fine.  The room we were in didn't have a timer so she said to watch the clock and then we could leave.  I felt a little sore afterwards, probably from all the digging.  There was also more spotting that day.  By the afternoon, I was feeling kind of icky - sort of that "I'm-about-to-get-my-period" crampy feeling - and ended up leaving work a couple hours early.  Since none of my symptoms seemed out of the ordinary based on what I'd read, I continued to hope that they were a good sign of things to come...