I don't know the answer to that question. All I know is that I'm currently feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. Projects are piling up at work, my house looks like a disaster zone, I have multiple to-do lists that never seem to turn into "done" lists... I'm to the point where I sit down to try to do something, but instead of concentrating and finishing any one task, I just freak out about all the other things I need to do, and end up doing nothing at all. I've been in this situation before, and I know what I really need is a day (or preferably a couple days) to just organize myself and my life.
The trouble is, in the past I could just take a personal day off work before or after a weekend and be done with it all. Now, even if I do that, I still have a baby (who is now quite active). Even if he naps for a couple of hours, that isn't really enough time to tackle some of the larger projects that need tackling at home. If Paul is home, he can help with Nathan. Unfortunately, he's been doing a lot of double shifts lately. And my in-laws are currently out of commission as well (my MIL just had knee replacement surgery and is having a rough recovery thus far). My mom will be coming for a 2 week visit the end of September, but I'm not sure I can wait that long... I'm not very good at thriving in the midst of chaos - and that is what my life feels like right now!
The one area I'm refusing to slack off is in regards to Nathan. I am very aware that he is already 7 months old (as of yesterday!) and time is flying by in that respect as well. When I'm with him, or doing things for him, I'm very good at being 100% present and focused. We go on walks, we play, we have adventures - this past weekend he went to the water park and to a Cubs vs. Cardinals baseball game. I manage to keep his room (mostly) clean and organized, and I'm still making all of his baby food. I'm actually really proud of that. I may not be home with him all day every day, but I'm doing that for him, and that makes me happy. And he seems to like it! He has a huge appetite and is up to 3 meals a day now.
Ultimately though, I know I need to have better balance and focus in other areas of my life besides Nathan. Because at some point, the stress and anxiety I feel over the disorganization and chaos in those other areas are going to bleed over into my time with him, and I don't want to be a stress-ball mom who can't relax long enough to read a book or play peek-a-boo with her son. The fiscal year begins September 1 at my work, at which point I will gain an additional 3 personal days in my PTO bank. I think I will plan to take at least 1 on a day that Paul works and Nathan is going to daycare anyway, and spend it organizing and cleaning my house. If I feel a bit more in control of my home, I should be better able to concentrate on work (especially since I work from home 2 days a week!).
In the meantime, if anyone has discovered the secret of adding more hours - or even minutes - to a day, please share!
I can feel this way too, especially working one day from home. Life is so messy, but do take that personal day to get caught up. Wear your baby and check some stuff off your list. Put a fun movie on for yourself and fold all te laundry (then refill all he laundry Nathan unfolds :)
ReplyDeleteUsually I feel all stressed out during the week but as soon as the weekend rolls around and I can get caught up a little, everything feels I much more manageable. Kudos to you for spending so much time with your boy!! And makin his food. That is he most important thing and everything else can wait. You can clean when he's in college :)
Oh! My personal favorite trick. Make a ta-done list. You'll be amazed at how much you did accomplish already!!