I meant to post an update after my appointment on Thursday, not that there was much to report... As in, absolutely no change since last week. Or the week before. I am still only 1 cm and 50%. I had prepared for this to be the case, so I was not nearly as upset as last week when she confirmed that things were still pretty much the same. I am still contracting around the clock, but clearly they aren't accomplishing much. I joked to my office-mate that if I do go into spontaneous labor on my own, I'm going to need my water to break or something equally dramatic because I've gotten so used to the contractions that I barely notice them.
Since I'm still only 50% effaced, the doctor said she wants to start my induction by inserting a balloon catheter to help finish the job of thinning my cervix. After this is in place for 5-6 hours, they will see about breaking my water and/or starting pitocin. In light of this, they have now moved up my check-in time at the hospital to 10:30 p.m. on Sunday (previously it was 2:30 a.m. Monday). I'm kind of relieved actually. I would rather get to the hospital late Sunday night than have to figure out whether or not to try to "sleep" at home for a few hours before getting up to head in after midnight. And I'm glad we are starting with the balloon catheter. Yes, I've heard it isn't the most pleasant experience, but I've also heard where it can kick-off contractions on its own, thus delaying the need for pitocin. Since I want to try to make it as long as possible before getting an epidural, I would prefer to put off starting pitocin until it is absolutely necessary.
My thoughts on this whole induction thing are still mixed. If it were up to me, would I choose this over spontaneous labor? Probably not. But let's be honest: none of this journey to parenthood has unfolded how I thought/planned/wished that it would. In many ways, infertility has prepared me to be in this position now and I think I have a healthy perspective on it all. At the end of the day, after all we've been through, the most important thing is that the baby arrives and everyone is safe and sound. I've seen too many friends (all of whom had no issues getting pregnant) set their minds on having the perfect/ideal labor and delivery, only to be thoroughly traumatized and/or disappointed when things didn't go according to their "plan." I like to think that if I've learned anything through infertility, it is that life does not go according to plan. You can either accept this and adjust, or refuse to accept this and become miserable/bitter/angry about it. Nevertheless, if labor were to start on its own before tomorrow night, I am still very open to that option :)
In other news, I am done with work! Yesterday was my last day and I'm very glad. I got a lot accomplished and actually feel very much at peace with where I'm leaving things for the next few months. I was able to make all my lists and instructions for the people who are helping cover various things. And I was able to meet with them all individually and answer last minute questions. I'm also really glad that I don't have to endure any more visits from curious co-workers inquiring as to whether or not I've had the baby! Seriously, people have no idea how frustrating that is to hear a dozen or so times a day when you are past your due date. Here's a sample of conversations I had over and over this week:
C-W: Oh! You're still here!
Me: Yup.
C-W: How are you feeling???
Me: Ummm, about the same.
C-W: Why don't you start your leave now and just stay home?
Me: *sigh* Because there's not much point in doing that? I mean, I would just be sitting around going stir-crazy at home. And besides, I'm a whole lot closer to the hospital when I'm here at work than I would be at home if something were to happen.
C-W: Oh. Well, you know... My nephew/best friend/dog-walker's birthday is tomorrow. Maybe you could have the baby then!
Me: Yeah, maybe...
Or there's this exchange:
C-W: Why haven't you had the baby yet?!??
Me: Ummm........ Gee, I don't know. I guess it just hasn't occurred to me?
To make matters worse, there are 6 of us pregnant women in the office right now. Starting with me, someone is due just about every 4 weeks through June. This week, the one who is due after me nearly went into labor. As in, had to be wheeled out of the office and over to triage in a chair on Wednesday afternoon. She is 3-4 cm already (at only 37 weeks!) and was basically told by her doctor to "keep working as much as she can to try to get this baby out ASAP." [There is more to the story than this - she's been measuring about 2 weeks ahead the whole time and there is a mass that they've been watching in her baby's lungs that may mean he has to have surgery as soon as he is born. So needless to say, coming a bit early, in her situation, would not be a bad thing.] Her office shower was supposed to be Thursday, but was canceled when she called in sick for the day. Everyone assumed she was having the baby Thursday and thought it would hilarious to remind me of this all day long. Seriously. I cannot tell you the number of people who stopped by Thursday just to say "Hey! Did you know Emily is beating you? She's having her baby right now! Isn't that funny?!" Clearly these people have never been punched by an overdue pregnant women. Fortunately (for me at least), Emily did not have her baby on Thursday and was actually at work yesterday. There is a high probability that she could still have it this weekend. But at least if she does have hers before me, I won't have to hear about it from every single person in my office!
Anyway, whether it starts on its own or is induced in the hospital, labor is now less than 48 hours away. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter!
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