Nathan's Birth - Part Two

***The continued story of Nathan's birth***

January 21, 2013 - 1:30 a.m.

After dozing off and on for about an hour or so (rather uncomfortably) I decided to try and roll over. In the process, I felt the balloon catheter slide out. They had said I would definitely know when that happened and they were right - it felt kind of like when a super-saturated tampon decides to self-eject (sorry - that's really gross - but then again, this is a birth story so there's probably going to be a lot of gross details!). Paul was sleeping (snoring - actually!) in the corner so I had to yell a bit to get his attention. He got up and pressed the call button for me so we could notify the nurse. A few minutes later, she and the OB resident appeared and confirmed that the balloon was out and I was dilated to 2.5 cm. Woohoo!

The next step was to try breaking my water. I was a bit fuzzy on how they go about doing this so I asked for details. The nurse proceeded to show me a long instrument that looked exactly like a knitting needle. This is apparently what they use to "snag" the membranes and tear a hole. Who knew? Anyway, I didn't have much time to think about it because the next thing I knew, the resident had her fingers ALL THE WAY up inside me trying to locate my cervix. My cervix, however, did not wish to be found. It was apparently very high and posterior still, so before she could even insert the needle thing, she had to grope around and try to pull the membranes down through the cervix. At least that was my interpretation of what she said. It was kind of hard to concentrate with what felt like her entire fist inside my vagina, twisting and pulling and poking around. At this point I was clutching Paul's hand had a death grip on Paul's hand and was begging him to distract me. I was a little concerned too - if breaking my water was this painful, how bad was actual labor going to be??

Eventually they decided to stop the torture and start the pitocin instead. She explained that they would give me a couple hours on the pitocin and then try again. Hopefully, during that time, my cervix would decide to cooperate and move into proper position. The good news, however, was that the baby's head was quite low and engaged! The nurse (Autumn) got out the pitocin and added some more tubing to my IV. I asked if I would feel the contractions get stronger immediately and she explained that they would start me out at the lowest dose and slowly turn it up as needed. She said I should still try to sleep, if possible, and they would be back to check on me in a couple of hours... Since I was wide awake after the extreme groping attempted water-breaking, I had Paul put in one of my Friends DVDs. He laid back down for a bit.

January 21, 2013 - 2:30 a.m.
After about an hour of flipping through a magazine and listening to Friends in the background, I decided I needed to get up. I was definitely feeling some contractions, but they weren't terrible yet. Mostly I was just uncomfortable in the hospital bed and feeling restless. Autumn was on a break so the nurse covering for her came to set me up with the mobile monitoring system. It took a bit of finagling (and changing of batteries) but we were eventually freed from our room to roam the halls with an IV pole draped in wires and tubing. Paul walked along with me and we fell into a somewhat predictable pattern. The hall was U-shaped with our room on one end. Each time we would make it from one end up to the opposite corner of the U, a contraction would begin. Most of the time I could keep moving through it, albeit slowly. But occasionally it would be intense enough that I would have to stop and brace myself against the wall or Paul and breathe through it. Neither of us had remembered to grab our phones or watches so I can't say for sure, but I estimate that the contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart and lasting about a minute in duration.

We kept on pacing, slowly but steadily, for over an hour. A couple of times they had us come back to the room to re-position the monitors. The fetal heart rate monitor was picking up fine, but they were having trouble with the one that was supposed to track my contractions. On one trip down the hall, we passed by a random older woman from housekeeping services who was pulling things out of her cart. Without looking up or making any sort of opening statement, she simply asked "How's that baby boy doing?" It caught us rather off guard and we explained that we didn't know if it was a boy or girl. She just smiled, nodded her head slightly, and said "You know, I'm always right about these things." As she pushed her cart on down the hall, Paul and I looked at each other and laughed. It almost seemed like a dream at that point - the middle of the night, the darkened hallway, the random, gender-predicting stranger. It was kind of surreal :)

January 21, 2013 - 4:30 a.m.
After about two hours of intermittent pacing and monitor-checking, Autumn came to escort us back to our room so they could check me and try breaking my water again. The resident (whose name I couldn't pronounce) did the exam and declared me to be... 2.5 cm. Still. They asked about my pain level on a scale of 0 to 10 (0 being no pain, 10 being just-had-a-limb-amputated-with-no-anesthetic, and 4-5 being "I can't do this much longer"). I rated it around a 3 and said I wasn't ready to discuss an epidural yet. Walking really was helping me cope with the contractions and I was determined to keep it up!

But first things first: round 2 of attempted water-breaking. Paul hovered over my head and tried to distract me with descriptions of Maui from our honeymoon. I made a number of nail marks in his hand and even cried out a few times as the resident rummaged around my nether regions to no avail. Round 2 = fail :( My cervix was still high and posterior. The baby, however, was at zero station (yay for some good news!). After apologizing profusely, she said they were going to increase the pitocin slightly and see if the attending physician (one of the OBs from my group practice) wanted to come try.

Meanwhile, they said I could keep walking if I felt up to it. Unfortunately, the contraction monitor still wasn't working so we got stalled in the room for a bit longer while they looked for a different machine and/or new batteries. Laying in bed was the last thing I felt like doing, so we asked Autumn to bring us a birthing ball. We spent the next hour trying out different positions on the ball. Every few contractions or so, I would stand and rock through it using Paul for support. The intensity was gradually increasing, but I was still feeling in control...



 

Nathan's Birth - Part One

I would like to be able to sit down and write this out in one (LONG) post, but let's be honest:  that is not going to happen. So instead, I'm going to just start writing a little bit at a time and see how far I get before a) Nathan decides it is time to eat/poop/pee/request a snuggle, or b) I get distracted and lose my train of thought. It is important to me to record as many details as possible (before I forget them!), in addition to my thoughts and observations on it all. 

So, here we go...

January 20, 2013 - Daytime
My friend B texted me in the afternoon and asked, "So... what does one do on the day one is scheduled to be induced?" It was a valid question. My goals for the day included sleeping in (for the last time in a very long time!), going to my favorite frozen custard place with our parents, taking a nice long bath, and eating plenty of carbs for energy :) I think I accomplished all of that. Paul and I also attempted to take a nap, but by that point, the anticipation was really starting to build so we probably only dozed for 30 minutes or so. We had a nice pasta dinner with my parents (my dad had arrived that afternoon) and I was careful to not overeat. They had said that I could eat/drink normally up until we got to the hospital, so I wanted to take advantage of that! Around 9:00 p.m., Paul finished loading everything into the car while I got changed and took a few pictures with my parents. Most of our bags had been packed and ready to go for the last month, so it was easy to collect any last minute items and add them in. We were in the car and backing out of the driveway by about 9:15-9:20. My parents were going to stay the night at our house and try to sleep before heading to the hospital in the morning (or whenever Paul told them it was time to come). The ride to the hospital was surreal. I kept having flashbacks to similar rides into the city for our egg retrieval and embryo transfer days. We held hands and discussed our top contenders for names.

January 20, 2013 - 10:20 p.m.
We arrived at the hospital. Paul dropped me off, along with a couple of bags, and went to park the car. I got checked in at L&D triage, which felt a bit like checking into a hotel. Weird! They put on my wristband at that point and I became very aware that I was now a "patient" in the hospital. This may not sound like a big deal to anyone else, but I've never been a hospital in-patient before. Furthermore, I work at the hospital where I delivered. I'm used to seeing patients and talking about patients... I'm not used to actually being the patient. Paul met me inside the L&D triage waiting area and we headed up the elevators to the L&D floor. They took my paperwork and said to have a seat while they paged the induction nurse to let her know I was there.

January 20, 2013 - 10:30 p.m.
The induction nurse came and took us back to our room (#893). I needed to use the restroom, so she had me go ahead and give my urine sample and get changed into my gown. I had brought a couple of sports bras that I planned to wear during labor, but she suggested I go without if I was planning to breastfeed right away since it might be tricky to remove later with the IV and monitors, etc. Point taken. Once I was dressed (or less dressed, technically) she got me onto the bed to start the check-in and pre-induction process. She was very nice and we were able to review our birth "preferences" and concerns about my adhesive allergy as it pertained to the use of paper tape/bandaids/Tegaderm, and the whole epidural thing. She started an IV for fluids (it was very dry in the hospital) and was careful to use as little tape as possible. She also hooked me up to the monitors and went over the general process with us. Then, one of the doctors (the OB resident for the evening) came in to do an internal exam and insert the balloon catheter. I wouldn't say that it was the most comfortable procedure ever, but at least for me it felt similar to the HSG or SSG tests. The resident seemed impressed that I "barely made a peep" while she was doing it.

January 20, 2013 - 11:45 p.m.
Once the balloon catheter was in, she explained that it would stay in place for up to 6 hours (or until it came out on its own - whichever happened first). If, after 6 hours, it hadn't come out yet and/or I wasn't any further dilated, they would take it out, put in a second one, and try again. She said that I would start to feel cramps that would come and go as my cervix (hopefully) began to dilate. It was around that time that the induction nurse handed us off to our L&D night nurse, Autumn. Autumn introduced herself, checked my vitals, and encouraged us to try to get some sleep for a bit. She said she would be back to check on us later, but to call if we needed anything or if the catheter came out on its own before then. Paul made up his bed on the pull-out couch in the corner while I tried to get comfortable. Easier said than done in a labor bed with an IV in one hand and a saline-filled balloon in my cervix... Nevertheless, I had Paul put on a CD of piano music that I like and turn down the lights. I closed my eyes and worked on taking deep, slow breaths when the cramping started. The piano music played in the background, along with the whooshing sounds of my baby's heartbeat on the monitor. I might not have done much actual sleeping, but I think I at least dozed a bit...

Quick Update & Picture

Nathan is taking his first nap in his actual crib, so I thought I'd take a minute to post a quick update. And yes, I know I'm supposed to be napping when he is, but I'm eating some lunch right now so I thought I would post bullet-style:

• We got home yesterday (Wednesday) early afternoon.
• First night at home went surprisingly well... This probably means we are due for a disastrous one sometime soon :)
• Things we have learned about our little boy include:
• He likes to be swaddled.
• He is good at self-soothing, particularly with his hands.
• His GI tract is functioning very well - he has had LOTS of poopy diapers already :)
• Nathan is enjoying his time with Nana & Papa (my parents) who will be here until Saturday morning. Nana & Papa are enjoying it as well (obviously)!
• Paul and I are enjoying having my parents around for these first few days and trying to take advantage of their help while we have it to get things settled and squeeze in an extra nap now and then.
• Nathan has met his four-legged siblings and they are all getting along swimmingly. Gibbs (our Lab) already understands that he is supposed to guard and protect this little bundle and is taking his job very seriously. He has also been great company during feedings :)
• Speaking of feedings, nursing is going okay so far. This will likely be a whole separate post eventually. But in a nutshell, Nathan is a pro at it already and his mama is still just trying to master the logistics whilst (hopefully) avoiding the pitfalls. My milk hasn't come in yet but I can tell it is close - I started producing transitional milk this morning and my boobs are starting to get bigger.
• I am recovering well from labor and delivery, as near as I can tell. My pain level has been minimal and I've only been taking Motrin so far. My main concern at this point is an allergic reaction I'm having from the adhesives (paper tape, Tegaderm) that were used during my labor and delivery. I was afraid this might happen (I have a history of this) and we did everything we could to minimize my exposure to them, but their use is unavoidable in the hospital. So far the reaction is still localized - I hope and pray that it doesn't turn into a full-blown, head-to-toe situation.

That's pretty much it for now. I hope to eventually post the full birth story, as well as some other bits and pieces of things that have rambled through my hormone-riddled, sleep-deprived brain over the course of these past few days. But for now, I'll close with this picture taken just after our last feeding:

Our precious little boy.

Introducing...

Nathan Robert was born yesterday at 2:44 p.m. weighing 7 pounds 4 ounces and measuring 20 inches long. We are completely obsessed with him :)

More to post later...

41 Weeks & Induction!

It is just past midnight and we have been at the hospital 2 hours. The balloon catheter is in place (not the most comfortable feeling), I am hooked up to an IV and the monitors. They are supposed to be bringing me something for the heartburn (which is raging tonight) and then theoretically we are supposed to try to sleep for a bit... Not sure that will happen, but going to try. Got my piano music CD playing and the lights turned down. Baby's heartbeat is also playing in the background :)

This is really happening!

T Minus 48 Hours... Or Less

I meant to post an update after my appointment on Thursday, not that there was much to report... As in, absolutely no change since last week. Or the week before. I am still only 1 cm and 50%. I had prepared for this to be the case, so I was not nearly as upset as last week when she confirmed that things were still pretty much the same. I am still contracting around the clock, but clearly they aren't accomplishing much. I joked to my office-mate that if I do go into spontaneous labor on my own, I'm going to need my water to break or something equally dramatic because I've gotten so used to the contractions that I barely notice them.

Since I'm still only 50% effaced, the doctor said she wants to start my induction by inserting a balloon catheter to help finish the job of thinning my cervix. After this is in place for 5-6 hours, they will see about breaking my water and/or starting pitocin. In light of this, they have now moved up my check-in time at the hospital to 10:30 p.m. on Sunday (previously it was 2:30 a.m. Monday). I'm kind of relieved actually. I would rather get to the hospital late Sunday night than have to figure out whether or not to try to "sleep" at home for a few hours before getting up to head in after midnight. And I'm glad we are starting with the balloon catheter. Yes, I've heard it isn't the most pleasant experience, but I've also heard where it can kick-off contractions on its own, thus delaying the need for pitocin. Since I want to try to make it as long as possible before getting an epidural, I would prefer to put off starting pitocin until it is absolutely necessary.

My thoughts on this whole induction thing are still mixed. If it were up to me, would I choose this over spontaneous labor? Probably not. But let's be honest: none of this journey to parenthood has unfolded how I thought/planned/wished that it would. In many ways, infertility has prepared me to be in this position now and I think I have a healthy perspective on it all. At the end of the day, after all we've been through, the most important thing is that the baby arrives and everyone is safe and sound. I've seen too many friends (all of whom had no issues getting pregnant) set their minds on having the perfect/ideal labor and delivery, only to be thoroughly traumatized and/or disappointed when things didn't go according to their "plan." I like to think that if I've learned anything through infertility, it is that life does not go according to plan.  You can either accept this and adjust, or refuse to accept this and become miserable/bitter/angry about it. Nevertheless, if labor were to start on its own before tomorrow night, I am still very open to that option :)

In other news, I am done with work! Yesterday was my last day and I'm very glad. I got a lot accomplished and actually feel very much at peace with where I'm leaving things for the next few months. I was able to make all my lists and instructions for the people who are helping cover various things. And I was able to meet with them all individually and answer last minute questions. I'm also really glad that I don't have to endure any more visits from curious co-workers inquiring as to whether or not I've had the baby! Seriously, people have no idea how frustrating that is to hear a dozen or so times a day when you are past your due date. Here's a sample of conversations I had over and over this week:

C-W: Oh! You're still here!
Me: Yup.
C-W: How are you feeling???
Me: Ummm, about the same.
C-W: Why don't you start your leave now and just stay home?
Me: *sigh*  Because there's not much point in doing that? I mean, I would just be sitting around going stir-crazy at home. And besides, I'm a whole lot closer to the hospital when I'm here at work than I would be at home if something were to happen.
C-W: Oh. Well, you know... My nephew/best friend/dog-walker's birthday is tomorrow. Maybe you could have the baby then!
Me: Yeah, maybe...

Or there's this exchange:
C-W: Why haven't you had the baby yet?!??
Me: Ummm........ Gee, I don't know. I guess it just hasn't occurred to me?

To make matters worse, there are 6 of us pregnant women in the office right now. Starting with me, someone is due just about every 4 weeks through June. This week, the one who is due after me nearly went into labor. As in, had to be wheeled out of the office and over to triage in a chair on Wednesday afternoon. She is 3-4 cm already (at only 37 weeks!) and was basically told by her doctor to "keep working as much as she can to try to get this baby out ASAP." [There is more to the story than this - she's been measuring about 2 weeks ahead the whole time and there is a mass that they've been watching in her baby's lungs that may mean he has to have surgery as soon as he is born. So needless to say, coming a bit early, in her situation, would not be a bad thing.]  Her office shower was supposed to be Thursday, but was canceled when she called in sick for the day. Everyone assumed she was having the baby Thursday and thought it would hilarious to remind me of this all day long. Seriously. I cannot tell you the number of people who stopped by Thursday just to say "Hey! Did you know Emily is beating you? She's having her baby right now! Isn't that funny?!" Clearly these people have never been punched by an overdue pregnant women. Fortunately (for me at least), Emily did not have her baby on Thursday and was actually at work yesterday. There is a high probability that she could still have it this weekend. But at least if she does have hers before me, I won't have to hear about it from every single person in my office!

Anyway, whether it starts on its own or is induced in the hospital, labor is now less than 48 hours away. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter!

We Have A Plan...

Today the nurse called to tentatively schedule my induction date for next week. Obviously, the hope/plan is that I will still go into labor on my own before then. Nevertheless, I feel a strange sort of peace knowing that there is an end in sight (even if it isn't my first choice for an end). It was really strange to talk to her about the schedule, as if I were booking a dinner reservation or something like that. I mean... who just schedules a birthday for someone else? Although, given how unnatural the circumstances of the conception were, I guess it isn't that weird to be picking a birth date? Anyway, here's the (back-up) plan as it currently stands:  Induction is scheduled for Monday, January 21st beginning at 2:30 a.m. (YIKES! So really - the middle of the night on Sunday).

The other choices were Tuesday, the 22nd at 4:30 a.m. or Wednesday, the 23rd at 1:30 a.m. As much as I'd love to give Flash as many days as possible to make an appearance on his own, my decision to go with the 21st was based on several factors. First, it is getting harder and harder to drag myself to work, so by doing it this way then Friday can be my last day. Second, with it being first thing next week, my Dad can drive up over the weekend and be here in time for the birth without having to take additional days off work  This is huge for me because it had been bothering me that he would be the only grandparent-to-be who didn't get to come to the hospital right away. Third, I'm just that uncomfortable now that I am starting to think I will do ANYTHING to get this baby out. And last but not least, I picked the 21st because of Paul's schedule. He had to put in for personal time a while back and has to use it whether I have had the baby or not. His first personal day is the 22nd, so if we wait until then or the 23rd, that's basically a wasted personal day and he is stuck having to trade shifts with other guys for later after the baby comes. This way, his last shift is this Saturday and we have pretty much all of Sunday to relax and enjoy our last day before reporting to the hospital. Have I mentioned how weird it seems to be picking a date to have this baby???

Anyway, my next check-up is tomorrow. I'm really expecting to hear that there's been no more progress - it is just easier to not get my hopes up like last week and then be disappointed. And at this point, knowing that in less than a week it will be over (one way or another), it really doesn't matter to me what they say in the appointment. As long as Flash is doing well and there aren't any issues with fluid levels or whatever else, then I'm fine waiting until Sunday night/Monday morning. I will try to post a quick update tomorrow though - just in case there is anything new or interesting to report!