Time for Change

It's time. In less than 2 weeks, I will have a 5 month-old son. It is time for me to stop making excuses and get serious about losing some weight and getting into shape. I've been slacking off in this department for a while now. It's time to stop.

In the first 2-3 weeks after Nathan was born, I lost a chunk of the baby weight pretty quickly. It was encouraging. I thought I was going to be one of those lucky ones who loses it all just by breastfeeding. But then I hit a plateau. And then, I started to inch back up a bit. It soon became apparent that I wasn't going to be one of those lucky ones after all. Bummer. But I was not in a hurry. I figured I had plenty of time to turn things around again. And for a few weeks, towards the end of my maternity leave, I did pretty well. I worked out at least 30 minutes a day and took Nathan for as many walks as I could (weather permitting). But then we went on vacation. And then I went back to work. And Nathan decided to quit sleeping for a week or so. And suddenly, I had no time/energy/desire to exercise.

I've tried to be mindful of my eating habits. But I've also used breastfeeding to justify (at least to myself) an extra helping of this or a super-size that or just-one-more-piece-of-chocolate. While it is true that you do need to take in more calories when breastfeeding then not, I'm pretty sure that doesn't mean doughnuts and lattes and peanut butter cups from Trader Joe's. I know what healthy eating is, and I'm not doing it.

I was going through pictures from this weekend, and for the first time in my life, I'm truly embarrassed to post any of them. I know I've put on weight over the past few years. Stress + infertility treatments + pregnancy + life with a newborn = approximately 30-40 pounds heavier than when I got married. I just didn't realize (or have apparently been in denial) about how obvious it is. I guess I didn't really feel that much bigger. Or if I did, I was quick to cut myself some slack. After all, weight gain is a side effect of all those drugs I took to get pregnant, right? And everyone gains weight when pregnant. And I just had a baby, so of course I'm still carrying a little extra here and there... Totally normal, right?

But it's time to stop the excuses. It's time to make being healthy a priority again. It isn't just about the weight. It's about getting stronger and taking control of a body that has been out of my control for a while now. It's about setting a good example for my son. It's about looking forward to pictures with him, and not being embarrassed to post them or hang them in frames. It's about feeling better and not lying to myself anymore.

I'm ready. I want to do this. I need to do this. It's time for change.