Back to Work & Other Transitions

It has been an interesting week... to say the least. The events in Boston hit a little closer to home in that my parents were actually in Boston at the time, visiting my brother who lives in the area, and knew people who were running in the marathon. In addition, I have colleagues at all of the major hospitals where victims were taken. Everyone I know of is okay, but it has been unnerving to watch the news coverage all week and recognize so many familiar sights.

In other news, I returned to work this week. So far it's been... okay. My new schedule allows me to work from home 2 days a week - Mondays and Thursdays. During the week, if Paul is not on shift, Nathan is with him. This means I will still get to see and interact with him some the weeks that Paul is home on Mondays and Thursdays. On his shift days (which are different each week) Nathan will go to daycare. This week only, I asked my boss to switch my work-from-home days to the days Paul was on shift (Tuesday and Friday). I wanted to be close by for Nathan's first couple days at daycare in case something went majorly wrong or I forgot something, etc. He did just fine at daycare, and I actually didn't cry dropping him off either day. But I think that's mostly because I did all my crying over the weekend leading up to my return to work. I cried a little Sunday night, but had already had a really big, ugly cry Friday night on our way back home from vacation. Work itself has been fine this week. I started out feeling a little overwhelmed (1800+ emails waiting in my inbox Monday morning!). But things settled down a bit as the week passed. I'm definitely busy already, but I'm feeling more organized having read/sorted/deleted most of the emails and met with my boss and others who were covering for me.

Actually, the things that made this week the most challenging were the weather and an extreme lack of sleep. We got an obscene amount of rain over the course of the week and there has been mass flooding throughout the greater metropolitan area. Of course, the two worst days were also two days that I was supposed to be in the office. The rain wreaked havoc on my commute and made for much longer and more stressful days than I would have liked my first week back. In addition, Nathan is going through his worst sleep regression thus far. Up until recently, he's been on a pretty solid schedule of bed time between 8:30 and 9:00, one wake-up to eat between 2:00 and 4:00, and a morning wake-up of 6:30-7:00. And then he started showing signs of starting to roll. He can already roll onto his back when he's doing tummy time. Last week we started finding him on his side in his pack 'n play on vacation after laying him down to sleep on his back. Thus, we've had to un-swaddle his arms at night. And as a result, he now wakes himself up (arms flailing) several times a night. The first couple of nights were awful - he was up almost every hour. And it wasn't hunger... I even tried feeding him a few times hoping to help calm him down, but he wanted nothing to do with eating. Even when we did get him back to sleep, he'd startle himself awake again an hour later. It has SLOWLY gotten a little better throughout the week, but we're still not back to where we were. Between the constant sleep interruptions and having to get myself up much earlier for work, I'm mostly running on empty. Bad timing that this had to happen the week I returned to work, but not much we can do about it!

Even so, it hasn't been a terrible week. It is definitely a challenge to get myself ready and out the door while taking care of a newborn. And I have yet to tackle getting ready AND getting him ready for daycare in the same morning... So far either Paul has been home, I've been working from home, or Paul's dad has come over to stay with Nathan for the hour between when I leave for work and Paul comes off shift. But then again, the lack of a consistent schedule from day to day (or even week to week) is part of the challenge as well. I just keep reminding myself that things will get better with practice. And I'm trying to do more planning and organizing ahead. It's tough at night when I really just want to go to bed, but taking the time to program the coffee maker, prepare my breakfast smoothie, pack my lunch, and collect my work bags (laptop/purse bag and pumping supplies) the night before really does make it easier in the mornings. Especially those mornings when Paul is still at work and I've got an infant to entertain while I get ready!

All in all, it's been a learning week for me. Transitions of any kind are often hard on some level. This is no different. Some of this is just a phase, and this too shall pass. If nothing else, the tragedy in Boston has reminded me to look for the positives - the happy spots - in the midst of the chaos and exhaustion. Every time I come home from work, or pick Nathan up from daycare, and see his big, happy grin... I'm reminded that he is worth every bit of this journey.